Growing Pains

What happened to the fireflies?

They used to shine like living constellations and light up my night sky

Back when I still had that glimmer in my eye and living meant more than trying to survive

Those sacred summers brought me closer to my roots,

Painted my cheeks terracotta and my skin to deeper hues

Missing teeth, bruised up knees, in the background Blues Clues 

Velcro on the feet, still learning how to tie my shoes 

But that was before I bit the apple

Before life said, “Hand me the scalpel”

And dissected me—some sick experiment

I just want to know where the fireflies went

That’s where I think I’ll find my innocence

A secluded place guarded by a picket fence

Made for my inner child 

Where she plays eternally and runs wild

A place where she never has to grow 

And doesn’t know darkness because their green glow 

Keeps her well lit

The fireflies are very protective of it—her light

Despite no one being protective of theirs

We’d watch them twinkle like stars and then trap them between our palms or in jars

We would contain their light 

Like this world contained ours

So I understand why they had to go

Things aren’t how they used to be

I wonder why Eve didn’t think of me that day at the tree

Who knew becoming aware would be such a burden to bear

And split me in two

The woman I am now and the girl I once knew

I know that girl isn’t lost or alone

She’s with her firefly friends

I just wish they would come home