I Hope That If It’s Her…

She wouldn’t be manipulated like I am. I hope she doesn’t waiver and that she stands her ground. If it’s her, then I pray for her sanity. I’d pray for my own, but I’m healing and she’s experiencing. If it’s her! 

If it’s her then I know that she doesn’t treat you the way I do. I know she doesn’t look into your eyes and fall. I know she stands on her two feet. If it’s her, then I know she’d be better than me. I’m jealous of that fact. Not the fact that I don’t have ya, I can always get you back. Though if it’s her, I’m jealous of the fact she knows when to stop. When to say no. When to drop top & when to hit grow. 

I know that my value is vast and grand which is why I’m glad it’s not me. I’m glad that it’s her. I hope she gives you everything and that you give her every ring. I hope that she provides you with infinity. I also hope that you suffer. I pray that you lose the hairs on your eyebrows. I hope you sweat extra tonight. I hope that you feel pain when you breath deep inside. I hope pain always resides between your rock and your hard place. I hope that you never are able to reside in the same place. I hope that you never stop moving and that you never have a home.

If it’s her then I know I’ll always be cold. If it’s her I know I’d remember the pain that inevitably unfolds. I want you to know that this will never get old. Only you and I will age. This will never get old. We will always play this game. 

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I know this is not true. Just pondering the past.

I think that you adore her. Maybe us? I’m tired of your ass.